memento1: (DW - tardis)
Got the official e-mail today - didn't get any of the WAP trainer positions. I knew that anyway, thanks to my contacts inside, but it's still crap to confirm. So...I've now been rejected from my two top jobs in two months. More than still not having a job, that's just hell on the self-esteem.

Thank God there's a Doctor Who marathon on SciFi today.
memento1: (DW - Shoes)
Thanks, everyone, for all the well wishes on my last post. I really appreciate it. Unfortunately, things have been incredibly crappy.

- I got an e-mail from the Minnesota Zoo saying I didn't get the trainer position. This wouldn't be so terribly bad except also
- I found out from my sources at the Wild Animal Park that the full-time positions are slated to be filled by their current part-timers, so the only real open positions are part-time. Also, they've started contacting people for interviews and I haven't heard anything yet.
- I was a complete and utter IDIOT and lost $165 in 10 minutes my first day in Vegas. I managed to win back $65 over the weekend, but that's still $100 that I cannot afford to lose right now. And then to add to it,
- Today I got a $30 parking ticket that was completely avoidable. Also due to my idiocy.

Now I can't stop thinking about money. I am OUT OF A JOB, my only real possibility is now tenuous and part-time, and even if I get it I'll have to get a second job to get by. I have enough money to survive for about 2 months right now, so the situation isn't dire, but I keep making all these STUPID EFFING DECISIONS and throwing my money away when I need it most desperately. I don't know what to do if I don't get this job at the park. If all else fails I could move back up to LA, do some more pet-sitting and try to do reindeer at the LA Zoo again in December, but that's only a temporary fix. Things were looking so up for a while there, and now they're falling down around me. I don't know what to do. I'm tired of still not being able to get a steady job, a year and a half after graduating. I'm tired of being so, so careful about my money and then making IDIOTIC F***ING DECISIONS to sabotage myself. I want to go home. I don't want to deal with this right now. I want someone to hug me and tell me everything's gonna be all right. I want to go home.

OMG, guys.

Oct. 9th, 2008 01:37 am
memento1: (DW - Shoes)
OMG. A few weeks ago a little birdie (AKA the lead at the WAP bird show) told me they'd be hiring in the Behavior Department at the Wild Animal Park soon. Today I checked it out and...*7* positions. Admittedly, 4 are part-time without benefits, but if that's all I can get, I'll take it. 2 of them, as near as I can figure, are working at the bird show (dream job!), and the other 5 are at the Compound, which does animal encounters, the cheetah run, etc. The Minnesota Zoo is still my top choice, but this is absolutely my second choice, if I could pick anything, and with 7 openings (7!!!), I have a fantastic chance of getting hired. Especially seeing as I know several of the people who would be doing the hiring. OMG. OMG, guys, this is a dream come true. I SO needed this.

This brightened my week inordinately because today was the first of 11 days covering my old pet-sitting job (as the boss is on her honeymoon), and even as a light day I remember exactly why I hated this job. But I need the money. And it gives me a chance to visit my old LA stomping grounds.

So, PLAN: 10 more days of this, cram in a Bones/West Wing marathon with [livejournal.com profile] balmyone, Vegas weekend with Krista (OMG, awesome last-minute invite), Halloween weekend pet-sitting for one of the bird show gals. And hopefully somewhere in all of that hearing about this JOB. *flail*

SuperawesomehappyexcitedSQUEE!
memento1: (OT - Fandom?)
The Good:

SeaWorld! )

The Bad:

Every day, every hour that I don't hear back from the Minnesota Zoo breaks my heart just a little bit more. I'm far too used to having my dreams crushed. I know one week isn't enough time to start freaking out over, but I want that job so badly, and I'm frankly terrified of going back into the soul-crushing job search again. There's only 2 weeks left of work and I'm dreading going back to that jobless, bored, stressed out blankness. I'm not excited about any of the job openings out there and the idea of moving yet again to a place where I don't know anyone into a job I don't like is almost as wearying as the thought of having no job at all. I haven't even applied to anything else, and I know I should have started ages ago, and that guilt just combines with the terror already in place to form a self-sustaining spiral of avoiding the problem. I need to start applying, I desperately do, so I'll just need to try to lift myself out of my terror long enough to do so...tomorrow.

The Average:

I miss the Olympics. I loved coming home every day and watching primetime coverage until 1 in the morning. I loved the gymnastics, and the running, and the diving, and even their silly journalistic stories of China. I loved having it on in the background even if I wasn't actively watching. I loved the expressions of joy on the winners' faces, and even the pangs of sadness for those that failed. I loved feeling proud of my country, yet feeling like a global citizen, that these feelings were universal. A ridiculously cute and sappy set of Olympics commercials from a few years ago:



My favorites? Coragem (Courage), Bronze, and Prata (Silver).

BONUS Fic Update: I really, really enjoyed Cubed. A fascinating look at an alternate universe Mulder and Scully, in domestic bliss, and how that relates to reality. At first it sounded like so much idealized mush, but by the end I loved the message: that they are not broken beyond repair, that they can learn to get past their fears and live and love freely and openly.

She observed Samantha and Fox, together and smiling, the children licking ice cream from their spoons, the cozy little house, the baby wiggling around in her belly. Their lives were so blissfully normal. Scully had to force down the sudden urge to go search the closets to see where they were hiding the mutants.
memento1: (OT - polar)
Good day! Very good day. Squee!

At work, we share the stage with a bird show, and the trainers are all very nice people I've gotten to know. When they learned I was applying for the Minnesota Zoo bird show, they invited me to come in on my day off and shadow them for a day. So today, I did. And it was wonderful. Most of them went to Moorpark years ago, so they know I've had experience and thus threw me right in. I got to handle Harris Hawks and an Eagle Owl, help them weigh birds, and prepare for shows. In shows, I got to feed an African Crowned Crane and the same Eagle Owl as they flew across stage. I helped train Rooty, their red river hog. The highlight, however, was in the last show when they had me help with Califia, an Andean Condor. She flies across stage from mark to mark several times, and I was on one mark. I'd leave a chunk of meat on the mark, wave her over, and step away as she flew up. I stepped away too early on the first pass and she went back to the first mark, so I didn't do it perfectly, but it was a thrill and all worked out okay.

Lately they've been training for a brand new behavior - they float a giant blimp balloon over a hundred feet up and remotely release hawks from a crate hanging under it. They released three hawks this morning so I got to help attach telemetry (in case the hawks fly off), send the balloon up, and watch as they were released and flew down to stage like a bullet. It's cute because when the crate door drops open, you see this little hawk head peek over the edge and then the bird drops like a stone straight down. The harris hawks put on the brakes and glide in to the trainer, but the ferruginous hawk doesn't let up and seems to hit the glove at top speed. It's quite a sight. Anyways, I got to ask all my burning questions, like how they trained their macaws to fly round and round the stadium, and generally get a feel for how they run things. It was especially nice to see how they worked the raptors and other birds, as most of my bird experience is with parrots. It certainly reminded me that I need to work on my falconer's knot. *G* It was a wonderful experience, and now I'm more eager than ever to hear back from the Minnesota Zoo. The application deadline was today so hopefully within the week I'll hear something. Eeee!

Can I do it again?
memento1: (OT - Totally 'Splodey!)
ZOMG, today was AWESOME. Firstly, Kitambi ran excellent on stage. 7 weaves, a long run to the mark, and very fast down the hole. I was ridiculously proud. We also had a very good group so the whole day was relaxed and pleasant, instead of tense and stressed. I had such a good time I stayed late and watched the Bubble Show (which is a lot of fun, and very relaxing at the end when they run a few bubble machines and thousands of bubbles float past, with musical accompaniment).

But the big, BIG thing? A co-worker was looking through the AZA job listings and found a listing she pointed out to me - the Minnesota Zoo is hiring a trainer for their bird show. And I'M QUALIFIED. I've been on an absolute high since then. This is my DREAM JOB, people. They almost never hire, and for them to be hiring right now, when I am looking, is...almost unbelievable. I need this job. I am qualified for this job, I want this job, I was practically MADE for this job. I will be heart-broken if I don't get it.

So I better get working on that resume. Eeeeeee!!
memento1: (OT - Pants!)
I am alive! I'm just terribly lackadaisical about posting. I'm STILL not up on the flist, so my apologies. Any big news that I've missed?

I felt like I should put down more coherant thoughts on the movie, but...I'm lazy, and it's all been rehashed a thousand times anyway. Right now I'm all a-squee over X-Files Marathon #2 with [livejournal.com profile] balmyone tomorrow (sorry, [livejournal.com profile] lunayoshi, but it's just not worth the hour's drive up for half a day. Tell us when you have a full day off and we'll see what we can do! Also, so need to go see movie again. Call me!).

Trip to Minnesota was wonderful. It was actually quite fun being a bridesmaid. The dress cost a fortune and is pretty much unusable ever again, but it was actually much prettier than I expected. There was lots of dancing, good food, good company. I made a new friend with another one of the bridesmaids - too bad she lives so far away! Anyways, there was the requisite amount of drama (groom acted like a 2-year old at times, and sister had a minor meltdown complete with family argument), but what else can you expect at a wedding? ;) The rest of the vacation went well - watched some movies with mom, visited the Minnesota Zoo (chatted with a very nice lady at the bird show about job opportunities...doing the bird show at the MN Zoo is a dream for me. I should send her a thank you note), ate ice cream and bought some new socks. Best part of the whole thing was July 25, squeeing with you all and meeting [livejournal.com profile] dashakay. I only wish we could have chatted longer, Dasha!

Anyways, back to usual here. Work work work. Boss is being pig-headed, but I'm having breakthroughs in the training of Kitambi, a young porcupine. Training that porc is the best part of my day - he's come so far and is so close to being put in shows! I'm bound and determined to get him in the show before we end September 9th. Speaking of, that is the day I return to unemployment, so I'm heading back into the job search (BLEAGH!! WHY?!?! I just finished with all of that sh*t!). So yay me. */sarcasm* In better news, I finished Parabiosis upon my return, which was just as astoundingly catching as the first time. Reaching the end was like reaching the end of the Harry Potter books - what can I possibly read now that will match it?

I watched a Nova special last night on Global Dimming, and it was depressing. Really, really depressing. I want to hide my head in the sand sometimes.

Oh! I got the XF2 soundtrack and am loving it. Dying 2 Live has actually grown on me, but Broken sends me into thrills, as it puts me right back in that theater seat with..ummm...you know what at the end of the credits. ;) Other favorites include No Cures/Looking for Fox, What If You're Wrong/Sister, and The Surgery. That's all for now. I'm finding voiceposts much easier than writing out actual entries, so I may do more of those. Much love to all of you!
memento1: (OT - Scrubs smile)
Guuuuh. I'm SO far behind on my flist. I'm sorry, everyone, but I just can't keep up, and I really don't want to do a friends cut. So I'm not ignoring you, I swear, and I'll try to be back up to running speed soon.

Also, thanks to everyone for the outpouring of support on my last entry. As suspected, I was perfectly fine by the next day, but everyone needs a little emo catharsis now and again. ;) I decided to re-read the fandom classics 12 Rites of Passage/12 Degrees of Separation, and just like a really good book I could NOT stop reading until I finished today. That's all I did when I got home from work until I went to bed. *L* So that was a nice escape.

What else? After a lot of drama, my bipolar co-worker is quiting, and I'm so glad because she's made my life a living hell. There's still the arrogant boss to contend with, but I'm looking forward to the remaining 2 months of work now.

Oh! X-Files! I can't believe it's only 2 weeks away! After ages of it being so far away, it's suddenly coming up so soon. I squeed when I saw ads on TV for it. The LA premiere is on the 23rd at 7:30. I work until at least 5, and have a flight from LAX at midnight, so I don't think I can make it, though I may pop by briefly if people are meeting up. I can't make an evening of it, though. Darn! Also, HUUUUGE spoilers are coming out about the movie and I'm desperately trying to avoid them. I've enjoyed the minor spoilers now and again until now, but I really do want to remain unspoiled from here on out. Who's with me?

I'm sure I had more to say, but...my mind is sieve. So what's up with you all?
memento1: (SG-1 - Hide for a while)
Because I am scatter brained, a list!


  • UGH! I left my chicken dinner on my bed while I went to move my clothes from the washer to the dryer, and when I came back *2* minutes later, the effing dogs had gotten it. Now I'm hungry and have no chicken left. ARGH!!!

  • I just asked for June 22 off from work so I can go to the LA film festival for the XF2 screening/talk. Eeeeeeee!!!! I'm trying not to get my hopes up because unless my boss will switch up her days off, I don't know if I have a chance.

  • Uhhh...remember the cell phone I sent through the wash? IT WORKS!!! It acted real funky for a few days but now it's basically back to new and I'm so relieved I could kiss someone. The rice bath worked! *LOL*

  • American Idol finale...I wanted Archuletta to win, but I see why Cook did. He had more personality. But darn it, now I'm bored without anything to watch on Tuesday and Wednesday nights.

  • I've had a helluva week. Went up to LA to visit friends and had a grand old time, then ended up literally breaking down in tears at work when a co-worker yelled at me. I'm tired of all the drama. I love the work but sometimes I'm so glad this job ends in September.

  • How does one go about getting into Doctor Who? There's apparently a ridiculous number of seasons and even a movie and...it's all too complicated! Where do I start so I'm not horribly confused?

  • I finished 2 books yesterday. I finished the last few chapters of My Friend Leonard, the Million Little Pieces sequel, then at the library read through all of What Shamu Taught Me About Life, Love, and Marriage, because it's by the lady who wrote about my school, and in it she basically explains training terms to newbies, as well as mentioning a few of my animals (including Goblin, Julietta, and the cougar boys). It brought me back.

  • XF viewing marathon on [livejournal.com profile] eyeinfbi next weekend. YES!! I will be looking forward to this all week.

  • [livejournal.com profile] ranee42!! I got your postcard!! Eeeeeeeeee! That was just about the coolest thing ever. I MISS YOU COME HOME SOON!

memento1: (OT - TV)
Dude, I found out a while ago that Gillian Anderson introduces Masterpiece Theater On Sunday evenings, so I hopped over to that tonight to watch. It's so strange to see her on the screen again! And with the long hair! It's like I can't quite reconcile the visual with the voice, which is so Scully.

And then, and then! Daniel Radcliffe stars! Yet another moment of "It's Harry Potter! Only...it's not."

This is a very surreal night.

ETA: ZOMG, he looks like Hitler. Why did they give him a mustache?!?

~~~~~

Last 2 days of work have been great - a relief since Friday was hellish. They've also assigned me to the animal I have the least interest in working with...I think it's a test.
memento1: (XF - David)
I hate taxes. That is all.

Okay, fine, that's not all. I have to memorize the host script for our show by Saturday and I can't! Gawd, I could never be an actor because I can't memorize lines. Brain, you FAIL!

Also, anyone want to buy me a date "free dinner" with David Duchovny and Nick Lea? Please?
memento1: (OT - Pants!)
1.) Today, I slapped a porcupine. I kid you not. *LOL* Actually, I just tossed food over the porcupine's back, but that brought my hand in contact with quills. Stupid! Now I have a band-aid over my pinkie.

2.) I turned the wrong way onto a one-way street. I have no excuse. It was bright and I was trying to find the library and I'm not used to one-way streets! Gah!
memento1: (OT - Bird)
So! I finished my move on Monday and started my new job yesterday. There have been downers (of course I'm making rookie mistakes, but everyone is being understanding and forgiving), but overall I'm quite happy so far. It's steady work, and great hours (8:30 to 5:30). The people are pretty nice - of course there's gossip and discontent, but thus far none of it is directed at me, and everyone has been welcoming. It's wonderful to work in a team again, to have constant company and conversation, even if there is the potential for things to go sour. I get to work around animals again, which is a joy. There's a camel, zebra, Thompson's gazelle, 3 porcupines, a serval, fennec fox, warthog, dik-dik (whose name is "Richard", hehe), hyrax, monitor, and boa. There's also a civet, but he's leaving on Friday.

So, really really cool. How many people can say they work around a zebra every day, or help train porcupines? Hehe. They've been training me in to run the sound equipment for the show, and I've almost got it. It's rather fun, as long as I don't massively screw up. Here's to not screwing up.

I have a job, guys! I still can't get over this. How nice it is to be gainfully employed and not hate doing it ;)

ETA: SQUEEE!! *flail* (no spoilers)

Meep.

Mar. 12th, 2008 10:49 pm
memento1: (OT - Totally 'Splodey!)
So, uh...I got the job. ;) I had a nice long talk with a friend today which helped me work through a lot of my anxieties, and while I still am going to miss everything here...I have a job, dudes! As an animal trainer at a big-time zoo! Eeeeeeeeeeeee!!! I just want to start already. I don't want to have to move, or say goodbye, I just want to get to work! You guys will get all the details in the coming weeks (lucky you! *snort*), but hee!! Being gainfully employed is an awesome feeling.

It feels silly to add this onto that (JOB!!), but that XF press conference wasn't as exciting as anticipated. The only good part was the love-story bit. That was cute. But no news. Blah.

And I have to quickly add a huge THANK YOU to all of you who cheered me on and cheered me up and crossed fingers and other appendages for me. ;) I love you guys.
memento1: (SG-1 - Hide for a while)
Ugh. I am emotionally exhausted. So, the interview went well. The work wasn't hard and the people were fairly nice. I fully expect to get a job offer tomorrow. But I am drained. I haven't been getting enough sleep and have driven at least 7 hours between yesterday and today. Probably because of that, I am a little emotionally conflicted. Logically, this is the perfect next step for me - a semi-permanent full-time job training exotics. The fact that I would have to up and move to Escondido (probably by next week) is what's getting me. I am desperate at the idea of leaving all my friends and the family I live with to move to a place where I know no one. I am so happy here - I have people that care for me when I come home in the evening, I have friends to hang out with and discuss things with, I have pets to enjoy, and dinner on the table every evening.

I should be overjoyed with this job, but instead I feel as if I am being backed into a corner. Of course, change is always frightening. For now, I am going to try to relax and enjoy American Idol. I can't think about this right now, and it will probably all be a lot clearer on a full-night's sleep.

Eep!

Mar. 6th, 2008 09:14 pm
memento1: (OT - Pants!)
I have a working interview next Tuesday! Eeee! So I have to drive down to San Diego and spend a few hours at the Wild Animal Park (WAP). My guess is that unless I massively screw this up, the job's mine. So pray I don't make some stupid mistake! I'm already nervous.
memento1: (XF - bw)
My header disappeared. And I was rather confused until I figured out it was because the image was on Scrapbook and LJ was slowly weaning me off all rights to my Scrapbook. Long story short, I bought myself 2 more months of paid time so I can re-route the image somewhere else (and I POSSIBLY may change it. I know I haven't had this one up long, but XF has eaten my soul and I have no choice). I did, however, load in lots and lots of XF icons. Anyone know of an XF mood theme besides this one?

In other news, the interview went GREAT yesterday, so I'm hoping to hear about a second phone interview sometime this week. I so want this job...

Also, RPF scares me. Or at the least disturbs me. But hey, to each their own.

I've decided to give my own thoughts on fics as I read them on ChronX. Lucky you. ;) The Big It - Blackwood )

Fun things

Feb. 29th, 2008 06:06 pm
memento1: (SG-1 - Oooo!)

  1. Best CC interview EVER.

  2. Did you know that a cross between a Jenday and a Sun Conure is a Sunday? *snork*

  3. I got an interview! I have an interview set for Sunday for that job at the Wild Animal Park. Cross your fingers, and your toes, dude.

I R Dork.

Feb. 22nd, 2008 04:48 pm
memento1: (XF - riiiight)
OMG, I made the stupidest mistake. *L*

So I called Zoo To You (the place I applied for) today to check on my progress, but no one answered so I left a message. At the end I was leaving my call-back number so they could contact me and I FORGOT MY PHONE NUMBER! I stumbled along for about 20 seconds going 'ummm...uhhhh...I can't believe I forgot my phone number...uhhhhhhh...' before I finally remembered it. OMG, how embarrassing. I hope that's not the end of me right there. *dies* I would give anything to erase that from their machine. Let's hope they have a sense of humor? Oy.

In other, less horrifying news, American Idol is totally unfair pulling me in like this (my favorites are the little boy with the big voice, long-haired bandana dude, Janice Joplin girl, and irish lady...*L* I obviously am not keeping track of names yet) and Lost, as usual, makes no sense. What else is new?

Oh! And Arizona Highways by Fialka blew me away. That's what a fic SHOULD be - fic that makes you cry, and think, and care about the secondary characters, and did I mention CRY? Yeah, like that.

Fic Spoilers? )

Job?

Feb. 12th, 2008 11:47 pm
memento1: (XF - fangirl)
Eee! So, I got a call from a friend of mine today, saying she's leaving her job and would I like it? It's doing a show at the San Diego Wild Animal Park, which is right up my alley. It's training, and working in a team, and doing shows. In short, exactly what I've been looking for. Granted, it's in San Diego, and I'm not thrilled about moving down there, but I can't let an opportunity like that pass me by. While San Diego is expensive and I only know a few people there, it is at the bottom of my very short list of places I'm willing to move to. My friend left partly because she was having problems with the people she had to work with, so that could be a problem, but I'll never know unless I give it a shot. And dude, I so need this. Being jobless, besides creating a lot of money stress, has been really bad for my self-esteem. It was a huge bump to think now I have a very serious option, and my friend was glowing in her praise of me. Awwww! I really needed that.

Anyways, so I have to send in my resume, and probably do an interview, but things are finally looking up for the first time in a while. Yay!

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