![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
memento1So I finished the book "Reviving Ophelia" today, and read this little bit that immediately struck a cord.
In Smart Girls, Gifted Women, Barbara Kerr explores the common experiences of girls who grew into strong women. She studied the adolescent years of Marie Curie, Gertrude Stein, Eleanor Roosevelt, Margaret Mead, Georgia O'Keeffe, Maya Angelou and Beverly Sills, and she found that they had in common time by themselves, the ability to fall in love with an idea, a refusal to acknowledge gender limitations and what she called "protective coating." None of them were popular as adolescents and most stayed seperate from their peers, not by choice, but because they were rejected. Ironically, this very rejection gave them a protected space in which they could develop their uniqueness.
Many strong girls have similar stories. They were socially isolated and lonely in adolescence. Smart girls are often the girls most rejected by peers. Their strength is a threat and they are punished for being different. Girls who are unattractive or who dont worry about their appearance are scorned. This isolation is often a blessing because it allows girls to develop a strong sense of self. Girls who are isolated emerge from adolescence more independent and self-sufficient than girls who have been accepted by others.
It followed up with stories of girls who had had lonely, isolated middle school years but were strong and happy as young adults. It really struck a cord because I recognized myself in there: in middle school I was quite rejected and isolated from the crowd. And now I've grown into a strong, happy person. Soooo...I dunno, I just found that insightful ;) Was anyone else like this?
In Smart Girls, Gifted Women, Barbara Kerr explores the common experiences of girls who grew into strong women. She studied the adolescent years of Marie Curie, Gertrude Stein, Eleanor Roosevelt, Margaret Mead, Georgia O'Keeffe, Maya Angelou and Beverly Sills, and she found that they had in common time by themselves, the ability to fall in love with an idea, a refusal to acknowledge gender limitations and what she called "protective coating." None of them were popular as adolescents and most stayed seperate from their peers, not by choice, but because they were rejected. Ironically, this very rejection gave them a protected space in which they could develop their uniqueness.
Many strong girls have similar stories. They were socially isolated and lonely in adolescence. Smart girls are often the girls most rejected by peers. Their strength is a threat and they are punished for being different. Girls who are unattractive or who dont worry about their appearance are scorned. This isolation is often a blessing because it allows girls to develop a strong sense of self. Girls who are isolated emerge from adolescence more independent and self-sufficient than girls who have been accepted by others.
It followed up with stories of girls who had had lonely, isolated middle school years but were strong and happy as young adults. It really struck a cord because I recognized myself in there: in middle school I was quite rejected and isolated from the crowd. And now I've grown into a strong, happy person. Soooo...I dunno, I just found that insightful ;) Was anyone else like this?
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-09-24 05:25 am (UTC)I wasn't like that.. well.. hm. I was never a "popular" person, but I wouldn't say I was rejected or isolated. I had my group of friends. The only thing was that we moved the summer after my 6th grade year, so I was depressed/lonely for a lot of 7th grade.. but by 8th grade it was a lot better.
and now, I am.. mostly content. But I don't think of myself as particularly strong -- at least not as strong as you appear to be. I definitely lack self-confidence. I used to think it was good to be modest, and it is, but I have such a lack of confidence in my own abilities that it's hindering, I think, because I'm scared to do things because I just *know* I'm going to fail. and it feels like no matter how much I succeed, I still feel like this.. like I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop, lol.